A: WEARING THREE CORPORATE LOGOS.

I mean really, are you such a dickhead that you need to tell people three times?

I AM A CORPORATE COCKSUCKER!

I AM A CORPORATE COCKSUCKER!!

And in case you missed it the first two times,

I AM A CORPORATE COCKSUCKER!!!

Wanker.

Here’s scientific proof that wearing Goatboy turns you into a more beautiful and genuine human being.

Irony will set you free

Here at Goatworld Central - we’re fast developing an extremely thick skin.

Some people are extremely offended by the subject matter of our designs - so to those righteously indignant folks we remind them that our tagline: “irony will set you free ;)” only narrowly beat: “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”

But one criticism that deserves a semi-serious response is to those who criticize the price of our T’s.

The vast majority of T’s available online are made in absolutely horrific sweatshop conditions in China, India, and Vietnam to name but a few.

We’re talking serious slave labour here - with child abuse on a worse scale than even the Catholic Church!

So that’s why Goatboy uses top quality sweatshop-free American Apparel product.

And then there’s the matter of printing methods. We use the cool old school method of traditional silk screen printing, which seriously lasts. Other online brands use plastic transfers, which crack up faster than Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan combined. And as for digital printing - we could get all technical with you, but basically digital printing sucks.

We hope that those enlightened individuals who choose Goatboy would appreciate the fact that we want our T’s to last beyond the first wash, and beyond. In the early days of Goatboy, seduced by the potential filthy lucre, we bought some cheap Chinese shirts & printed & washed them. After two washes they were so lumpy it looked like you’d had your organs harvested (but you get that in China)

So to sum up, if you pay $30 or less for an online T then basically you’re supporting sweatshops. Fact.

That’s fine if you can live with it - and many do, and that’s OK with us. Our online T’s are still less than half the price you’d pay in most Australian shops, of which most are still sweatshop made.

Goatboy is all about a high quality good karmic product, with an idea on it, which unfortunately costs a bit more for the enlightened few.

If you want to support one of those fat, bloated corporations that vacuum up your money to have you to wear their ugly logo like a bizarre form of temporary tattoo, whilst exploiting children, then go right ahead!

We all have to suck corporate cock occasionally, like 5 days a week when we go to work, so to ying yang things out a bit - please try to wear Goatboy at least one day a week.

Wearing Goatboy allows you to strike a blow for bodily freedom of expression against the evil exploitative corporations…so please try to remember that in a world gone mad - Irony will set you free

We’re extremely proud to present Lukas - one of Hamburg’s finest exhibitionists, who stripped semi naked in the street to don his Goatboy classic straight from the postbox. Goatboy salutes Lukas as a Warrior for Freedom of Ironic Expression. In Lukas’s own words: “Thanks so much for the shirts!  I love them!  And thanks for the stickers and all the gimmicks, even the wrapping paper - all awesome.  I actually got undressed in front of my postbox and put the shirt on (and yes, that box is not in my flat).  You could write that on the blog if you like, i think it certainly emphasizes how cool the shirts are - or what an exhibitionist I am.”

Well - it’s only running in Canberra - a place so boring that Chinese & Australian authorities are probably hoping that everyone falls asleep on their way to protest the brutal Chinese human rights abuses in Tibet. This brilliant animation can be found at: http://www.clearspring.com/widgets/47f07c44c5c7bc28

It’s hard to believe, but there actually are some people on this planet who’s appearance is not improved by wearing Goatboy.

Thanks to Robin the Wookee for sharing Billi Bubs with us.

Billi Bubs is a mountain goat from the wild ranges up behind Byron, who lives mainly on grass & dislikes angry people with poor spelling skills.

Goatboy welcomes contributions to ‘Goat of the Week’. Please send in your goats with a short description to: contact@goatboy.com.au

EVA COX REALLY HATES FAT CHICKS (our T-shirt, that is) But best of all she knows exactly where the spell check function is on her keypad. This makes a pleasant difference from the semi-literate hate rants we’ve received to date. Over to you Ms Cox:

“Eva Cox from the Women’s Electoral Lobby said the T-shirts’ content spoke for itself. She said: They’re tasteless, crappy, crass and stupid and if people want to be seen as tasteless, crappy, crass and stupid, they’ll wear the shirts.

“It’s vulgar and nasty and encourages people to be rude and revolting. Who the hell wants to wear T-shirts like that?”

Source: news.com.au

Thanks Eva - Goatboy commends you as an articulate example to bogans everywhere.

A Kiwi man has admitted trying to have sex with a goat - but didn’t think he’d get busted because “animals couldn’t talk”.

The North Canterbury 68-year old, who managed to get his name repressed, told Rangiora District Court he took the goat to the back of his tiny farm and tried to have his way with it.

The court heard it didn’t go well - so he did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off.

“He was contrite, but said he was unable to stop the behaviour,” a police spokeswoman said.

The man pleaded guilty to  attempting to commit bestiality with a goat. He was convicted and will be sentenced on March 12th.

NO HE WOULDN’T - THAT’S COMPLETE RUBBISH. I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF AN EXCUSE TO POST THIS, BUT I DON’T NEED ONE. PLEASE ENJOY YOUR PRIVATE DANCE LESSON FROM THE GREATEST OF THE GREAT.